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False Sense of Security

by Reality At Risk

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1.
Goliath 02:07
It’s imprisoning me. I don’t want to leave my bed. This condition is cathartic and manifesting in my head. It’s telling me to do things that I don’t want to do. It’s distorting how I see the world and there’s nothing I can do. It’s a stinging in my neck. I’m a schizophrenic wreck. This unrelenting titan has got me by the neck. It’s taking over me. Nothing is real; at least, that’s what I tell myself. I’m building up a wall to fortify my health. It’s boring in my brain, it’s an excruciating pain. After all is said and done I just want to stay sane.
2.
You wish you could erase this. Your words deafen me. It’s the same old shit I’ve heard before. They try to drown me under waves and drag me to the ocean floor. You always try to put me down and make me wish I was dead. Malice tends to get around the finite space inside my head. All the wrong I’ve ever done and every mistake I’ve made plays again in front of me. I really wanted you to stay to tell me everything’s alright and that this is just a passing phase. Say there’s nothing wrong with me. What the fuck is wrong with me?
3.
Let the tremors take you over. Dance around the fact that you’re on your deathbed. It’s all inside your head. You could fight another day or you could wind up dead. Binge and purge on pity votes. You’re blinded by the smoke. Acknowledge your problem and we can forget your petty jokes. Take everything in moderation. You’re not a part of this generation. Get out of the frying pan and enshroud yourself in flame. Progress made at a glacial pace is progress all the same. Let the tremors take you over. Cry me a fucking river. Swallow your pills and give ‘er all you’ve got. If it will help you cope, I won’t let go of the rope.
4.
Marrow 01:47
a song about trying to stay motivated and happy through the worst of times
5.
Friendly staff catering to you. Synthetic food for you to chew. There’s nothing left for you to do. You painfully decide to live it through. You’ve done everything you can. You’re terminally ill, you fucking hate this place. You’ve got nothing left to give. Your pain radiates off your face. You have a right to live, you have a right to die. You have right to end your miserable life. Euthanize. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to sleep. You can’t last another week. You beg and beg for a painless end. The ceiling has become your only friend. Is it morally wrong to watch someone die or is it worse to let them suffer? If your body was a prison would you wait for bail or would you dig your way out with a spoon?
6.
I’ve never known an array as pure as this; where everybody cares for one another. The city brought them close. Their personalities kept them there. Everyone was ecstatic for the music. Then the government came with their fists clenched tight. They tore the whole place down. Oh, the people’s plight. Nowhere to go, no one left to turn around. I’ve got to pick my knuckles up off the ground. You may kill the leech but you’ll never kill the host. If I have to, I’ll do this on my own. It’s my turn to reignite the flame of community. It’s my turn to give the next generation a shot. It’s my turn to interpret what I was taught. What’s the worst that could happen?
7.
Maybe next semester they will look back in disgust. Both sides had their reasons but they all forgot about us. They put a damper on our school year. September was spent in solitude. I had a chance to secure a career until they decided to intrude. Resolve your fucking problems. Education is a right. You were eroding our futures and there was nothing we could do but fucking watch.
8.
Chickenshit 02:46
They said this would help. They said this was for their own good. No one could tell what would become of the neighborhood. Banman wanted them gone. He wanted them to flee from Jubilee. He said they were stinking up the streets. How fucking ironic... You acted like a little kid, we disagree with your politics. (You're not fit to run this town) There's no way you can take this back unless you bend right back and shove it up your ass! (You're not fit to run this town) The truth of the situation is a mayor covered is people in shit. There was no time for negotiations. He immersed the homeless in defecation. Human rights were violated, sanitation was deprecated. It was another futile failed attempt at dealing with the homeless problem. Don't let the tendrils rope you in.
9.
Disposable 03:06
I’ve always been the second choice. I’ve never known a friendly voice. I’ve been thrown away like a disposable razor. I regret ever getting to know you. Am I so insignificant that I can be so easily left behind? You meant something to me. I valued your company, but you threw me away as if I scalded you to the touch. Am I so disposable that you can instantly move on? Name one time I did you wrong. I confided in you but you threw me away and our friendship ended within the end of the day. I give up. Maybe I was expendable, but you meant everything to me.
10.
Ashamed and torn to pieces, I long to feel a loving touch. (The sorrow I had wrought) I stained your skin with arsenic, I set fire to your heart. (The memories I forgot) Drink your worries away. (If looks could kill…) I am not okay but I will be alright. When the gears have rusted shut. When you’ve finally had enough I will be waiting for you with open arms. Because if I wanted you to suffer, I’d be the harbinger of despair as I savored every minute of you writhing around in terror. I died while you slept. Promises were made but none were kept. With your life in shambles, you rely on your guile. You have the most depressing smile. Bias bites back. Your cause of death will be a panic attack. You’re nothing but a predator who prays their prey away. Too drunk to juggle your personalities, not drunk enough to withstand banalities. I would’ve spat in your deadened face for all the time you made me waste. I looked up to a novel. Your bed was a brothel. Your personality was unapologetically awful. Where was your eye for integrity when I needed you the most? I am not okay, but I guess I’d settle for less.
11.
Curve to Me 03:02
Break in through the window looking upstairs. Make damn sure there’s no one else here. Find what you need then hurry on out. No one will know what you’re talking about. When you get back, you’re paranoid. Every thirty seconds you jump at a noise. The sounds of the night fly in through the window. Tense and fetal, you recoil from a shadow. Curve to me. Spill to me what it is you can’t see. Curve to me. Ignore the shivers that will run through your body and ignore what they say. Two weeks go by and it feels like it’s nothing. You roll your eyes at the mention of something. Care to see the world as it is? Not likely. Care to show your scaly face? Bite me. Rivers of blood cover your wall. Regrets made that night are standing tall. You can’t take anymore of this torment but I found a way out of the moment. Karma’s catching up with your past decisions. The naughty little bitch will make the first incision. Why don’t you just sew your lips? Seize the day, you’re losing grip.
12.
You’ll parade me around as a satanic idiot. You’ll say “This noise isn’t music, there’s no melody or rhyme!” You always roll your eyes and call my music shit. But it wasn’t meant for you, you’re just wasting my time. You don’t give it a chance. Would you dare attack the only thing that keeps me sane? The shouting gives me comfort that I never could explain. I like you better when you’re drunk so bite your fucking tongue. Music is subjective, regardless of how it’s sung. You don’t give it a chance. But I’m not quite finished yet… What gives you the audacity to condescend to me? There’s an audience for everything. Leave well enough alone.
13.
No Respite 04:09
Your eyes were a stygian blue. I had no idea what a touch could do. I got drunk off of you. But our dissonance still rings through because the iron in my blood will rust whenever you look at me. You are my tetanus, my disease, the reason I choke whenever I breathe. I wanted to be left alone, not feel so fucking lonely. There’s no respite from this sickness. Not a minute to catch your breath. Not a morsel of integrity to shield you from your death. Not a thought left to be spoken, not another word is heard. You make me wish I was broken. I remember what it feels like to burn with an obnoxious guise, your selfish lies and your opinions seen through someone else’s eyes when the thought of fitting in is worse than having to live through it all over again. There’s no respite from depression. Not a minute to catch your breath. Another day, another session, this nightmare has left me for dead. I’m never fucking satisfied, I’m feeling pretty dead inside. Each step I take is another scab picked wide. I’m never happy anymore. I’m sick all through my very core. It stems from all the prejudice I bore. I don’t write as much anymore. I’m ashamed of all the scars I bore from trying to steer myself away from war. I was the brat that everyone beat on. I’m still as indistinct as a yawn. Would anyone really notice if I were gone? Broken hearts can still beat fine but the pulse is erratic and decimates pride. I’ve been told I’ll be fine, that I just need to give it time, but no one can see the agony that I try so hard to hide. And when your demons live inside, you become terrified of your own mind. A part of me has died. “The light has gone out of my life.” - Theodore Roosevelt

about

our debut album recorded September-October 2014 by gRAMPAGE

credits

released November 29, 2014

Guitar/Vox/Lyrics - Boston
Bass/Drums/Vox - James
Drums - Isaac

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Reality At Risk Victoria, British Columbia

Dec 2010 - Jul 2015

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